MEMORIES

2012-01-29T00:37:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, it is nice to feel protected and taken care of as though you are little again.
Being home physically after a long and tiring day feels like its the best part of the day..

So that the tears i'm holding back can fall apart..

2012-01-28T01:17:00.000+08:00

I thought work will provide a path of escape from my thoughts.
But i thought wrong.

Work didn't.
It just leaves me damn bloody tired.
But at least it takes up most of my time which has no other way to be spent but to wait and wait for something to happen.
But it also takes away my freedom.. And made me feels more distant from everyone possible. Sighs.
It wasn't a path of escape, but a path of endless pits..

Being in the service line, no matter what happens, i can only smile.
So used to suppressing all these emotions.
Sometimes i dont know what i'm feeling either. Hais..

I miss the beach.
I miss my fury pals that i can heart to heart talk to..... /:

It feels so cold..

Its a weird year.
Granddad's absence during reunion dinner, all the fights and occurings in the family..
I dont know how i'm going to make it through.

Some memories that once made you cried has brought you laughter now.
While some that once made you laugh, has brought upon tears. Because you know it will never happen again..

Its painful feeding on memories while watching the person you know becoming a person you once knew..

2012-01-22T01:16:00.000+08:00

2012-01-21T00:42:00.000+08:00

2012-01-16T01:43:00.002+08:00

This is beautiful! Omg.

Once in awhile it is nice watching such sweet stuff happening. It makes life alittle more bearable :DD

2012-01-16T00:55:00.001+08:00

2012-01-14T01:49:00.001+08:00

Dear john

2012-01-11T20:32:00.003+08:00

True love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you might face

-Dear John

I saw this quote numerous times on tumblr before, had my own interpretations of it. I thought i truly understands what Nicholas sparks meant. Until i read Dear John. As compared to movie, i rather read the book. It might take longer. Because i like the room for imagination, i like the fact that the characters' thoughts, reasons for actions were clearly written down. Unlike movies, everything happened in a rush, without knowing the extact details.

In the real world, you may not always be able to put your thoughts and emotions into words. But when you read, and you come across words that pen down exactly the feelings and emotions you felt before, that's when books get personal. Tears fell not because of the plot, but the pain you felt before gets reminded.. That pain that no one knows comes like a wave. That's the beauty of books.

How important can one be to another, when no one's indispensable in this world? Perhaps in the parallel universe..

Tiring day at work /:

You are the apple of my eye

2012-01-10T15:50:00.003+08:00

Good afternoonnnnn!

Today's my off day! I slept all the way into the afternoon today /:

Was really exhausted because i didnt really had the time to rest after chalet, as work starts right after the day of class chalet. So gald that mom have been understanding enough. I guess she knows that i'm really tired out by work so she didn't ask me to do housechores :D

Its nice to be home alone after so long. I took the opportunity to clean up the house, my room, and my hamster cage. I think my hamsters misses me or am i thinking too much? They dont bite me despite having an empty food tray, unlike their usual treatment to my brother. And when i looked at them, they come up naturally and just stare at me with their super bright eyes. Despite having them for less than a month, I really feel attached to them /: Whenever i feel low, or need to rant, i'll talk to them. They seemed to know because they will just come out to the front of the cage and stare at me. I know sound retarded, but i really have a hunch that they understand what i'm saying. Its a comfort to just hold roro in my hands after a tiring day, although she's not the most cuddly possession because being a dwaf hamster, she runs around alot. And despite my wish for her to become 肉肉, she's still her tiny usual self. Haha. On the other hand, my brother's hamster is super gigantic as compared to day 1! I call him 肥的! Cause really fat and glutton >< I cant imagine a day without them anymore. Sighs.

Anyway, workkkk. It is really awful to grow up in an unfamiliar world alone. As scary as it seemed in dramas, adult world is really terrifying. People seemed nice and all, and they are nice on the outside. But there's alot of mind games, motives, backstabs and the typical drama stuff. Whatever happened to sincerity? Whatever happened to humanity? I wonder why people changed so much as they grow up.. Its terrying to even think about what's going on inside their minds. Sometimes, there's really no room for mistakes in the adult work. People may just be looking for your faults and get rid of you /: I'm not ready for this type of world. Sighs.

I really wonder what type of person will i become in the future.. The idea of the future is scary and exhilarating at the same time. I just hope my love ones will be close by my side. Sighs.

爱我有些痛苦有些不公平,
不过如果真的爱我不是理所当然的决定
-forever love <3

awaken 24

2012-01-05T20:35:00.006+08:00

"When i get upset, i shut down. I feel like I should be crying or screaming or something but i can't because i'm turned off. I go silent and don't talk very much. I just sit there and think. "

Class chalet just ended.
I'm tiredd /:

Took a really long bus ride home alone.
I dont know what's wrong with me.
But recently i'm just feeling very down and out. I'm tired, not just physically, but emotionally. I'm tired of trying to please everyone,trying to take care of their feelings, often thinking how to fit every single thing into my schedule, or trying to fulfil their expectations. I come to a point that i no longer know what to do with my life anymore. Just dangling here without a clue..

I feel so turned off with life lately.
Work's starting off tomorrow.
Something's about to burst inside of me..

On the other hand, I like the bus ride home today. There's no need for conversations, no need to think of how to keep the conversations alive. Just internal monologues and reflect about my life. I want to start living for myself. I want a life. I want a hair cut. I want to silm down, really depressed about my body now >< I want to read books, watch movies, watch a sunrise, go bagpacking.

Sometimes i feel that everything is gradually slipping away no matter how tight i tried to hold on..

Do you believe in destiny?
I'm clueless of what to make out of these bits and pieces.
I guess amidst all these years, i lost myself.
I forgot what being myself was like. Sighs.

The truth is that the only person you can always depend on is yourself. Because no one will always be there like they promised, no one will have the time and energy for your problems and no one ever truly listens to what you said and the unsaid. The world is just too screwed up. Everyone's so into themselves. That includes me.

K bye.

2012-01-02T21:28:00.002+08:00

Heartbeats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

My ear piece spoiled /:
Sighs.

2011-12-30T04:35:00.001+08:00

One of those nights.

2011-12-30T03:41:00.006+08:00

Have you ever wonder if you are to leave the world at this moment, what kind of impact will you have left on everyone you met. What kind of things you should have said and done during your time.

Or if someone had departed, what will you wished that you had said to that person?

Sometimes life is so fragile.
But yet we take it for granted.
Started off being fragile, ended life being fragile and lonely.

I feel damn screwed up in every aspect of my life.
When i look back at 2011, i have no idea of what good have i done.
Perhaps 2012 is really the end of the world.

如果我变成回忆,退出了这场生命..

2011 is nearing to an end.
I have yet to catch a sunrise this year..
Sounds insignificant and dumb, but it has always be on my to do list /:
I want to fly kite, but never had the chance to.
I want to be bake, but my oven's down.
I want to go for a camp, but I cant because i cant.
I want to spend more quality time with the people i love, but as we grow older, the distance seemed to be even futher apart.

Notice the buts? I guess its excuses that deters people from doing what they want.
There are so many simplistic wants for me.
But they all seemed so unreachable..

Read my post for last year's new year resolution.
Time really had flew past..

I only hope things will get better in 2012, and that i can be braver, stronger and more determined in whatever i do.

Often in life, there are far too many regrets.

2011-12-24T00:47:00.002+08:00

OOOOHHH.
Its getting alittle late now, i'm tired.
But i'm happy, so here i am.

Today i celebrated terence's bday with esther kester li jie shafeeq nurul and khalil.
Just hope that he's happy (:

Anwww, CHRISTMAS IS HEREEE.
I LOVE CHRISTMAS.
Because it is the season that brings everyone together, and everyone's happy!!
And everyone in family will come togetherrrrrr.

Okayyy too tireddd
byeeeeeee

2011-12-20T09:10:00.001+08:00

2011-12-19T13:57:00.000+08:00

2011-12-08T22:18:00.000+08:00

Yea... Sighs /:

2011-12-08T18:39:00.002+08:00

This is damn cool! Omg omg omg.
I want to be a wedding planner!

2011-12-03T14:07:00.000+08:00

Omg. This is really good live.
Cant wait to get his new concert dvd /:

updates

2011-12-03T09:34:00.002+08:00

Sometimes it kills to have your love one far away from you..
Sighs.
Bf's flown off to china today, marking the start of our overseas marathon.
I wonder how am i going to survive half of this dec holidays without him.
Oh wells.

Anw, this is the first official post after A levels!
A levels was generally okay? Except a few papers.
Went to prom shopping with bf, as well as nurul and darshenee~
Thank you all and love you all lotsss because i'm damn picky :D
Got my ear piercing with him on tuesday, my prom dress and earrings with him on wed.
The piercing hurts alot, am i the only one like that );
Got my platform heels with nurul and darshenee on thursday.
AND I LOVE MY DRESS AND HEELS :DDDDD
But i'm only collecting my prom dress today as i sent it for alterations.
So egggciteddd to put everything together and see how it turns out to be!!
Hopefully everything's okay /:
It was tough to shop for shoes without a dress ):
Before that, i saw shu hui and xin ying at mrt station!!
Didn't get to catch up much as they have school ):
Hopefully can meet up with them soonn, miss the ladies.
It has been so long since i last met up with them X=

And and i'm getting a hamster soon!! hehee
Parents finally approved of it, i wonder where did that sudden enlightenment came from!
I shall name it roro~ Cause i want it to become 肉肉 like a furball.
However, i'm only getting it when i come back from malaysia on 17th ):
Highly anticipating the arrival of that day!
Cause its 1 year 1 month and and i get to meet bf soon and i get my roro.
1 bird kill 3 stones!!! Muhahahhahahh.

Monday's prom! And stayover at Darshenee's.
I think its gona be fun after promshopping with nurul and dars (:
First girl's outing!!~

That's all for noww.
Byeee

the non existent guy B

2011-12-02T19:44:00.002+08:00

【 A 】
她：「老公。帮我接杯水呗。」
他：「石头剪子布。谁输了谁去。」
她：「算了.. 我自己去吧..」

【 B 】
他们坐在一起看韩剧。她起身。
他：「干吗去？」
她：「去接杯水。」
他：「你坐这看吧。我去给你接。」

女人要求不高，她对男人唯一的要求就是「疼她」，
你可以什么都没有，只要你疼她，她就有足够的勇气把自己的下半辈子交给你..

【 A 】
他晚上下班。给她打电话，
他：「宝贝儿。我晚上和朋友出去吃饭。」
她：「你不是答应我陪我逛街的吗？」
他：「改天吧！」

她默默地流泪.. 为什么每次都是这样？

【 B 】
他下班的时候打电话给她:
他：「亲爱的，别人给我一张奥运会的票。巴西队啊！一会儿我去看球了啊。」
她：「哦。这样啊，好吧。」
他：「怎么不高兴了？」
她：「你忘了，上周说好今天我朋友和她男朋友请我俩吃饭啊。」

他：「哎呀，对不起亲爱的.. 我忘记了.. 那我把票给别人吧，我陪你去吃饭。」
她：「不要了，吃饭可以改天，或者你先去看，我们等你。」
他：「那不行，答应你的事情必须得做到。再说你自己跟他俩在一起像电灯泡似的，你肯定不舒服啊.. 」
她：「没事的..」

没等她说完，他很强势的告诉她，
他：「好了，听我的，你收拾一下，我一会儿去接你..」

其实女人不是不懂事，只是她需要碰上一个懂事的男人，
其实情侣之间是可以互相的..

【 A 】
他：「我晚上出去吃饭了啊。」
她：「几点回家？」
他：「九点之前肯定回家。」
九点半，
她：「你怎么还不回来啊？」
他：「十点，肯定回家。」

十一点，十二点，一点，两点..
后来，她不再打电话催他..
因为她知道，对于不守承诺的男人，一切「肯定」都是「未必」..

【 B 】
他：「我晚上出去吃饭。九点之前肯定结束。然后我俩去看电影。」
她：「你能那么快就结束吗？」
他：「放心吧。我答应你了就一定能！」
快到九点的时候。他：「收拾一下吧，我马上就到你家了！」

信任，
是在一件一件小事中建立起来的..

【 A 】
她生理期，身体不舒服。顶着疼痛洗衣服，收拾屋子。
他坐在电脑前面玩网络游戏..

她干完活，躺在床上，长出了一口气。
他看了她一眼：「宝贝儿，辛苦了！」
然后转过头，继续玩他的游戏..

【 B 】
她生理期，很难受，起身准备洗衣服。
他拽住她：「你去床上躺着，我来！」
她：「你会做家务吗？你自己洗过衣服吗？」
他：「不会做可以学着做啊，以后你身体不舒服的时候，我当然得独挡一面！」

女人需要的不只是甜言蜜语，哄她几句，她也许会给你一个微笑..
但是实实在在的呵护，她会对你一辈子的感恩，
并且会回报给你一个温暖的家..

【 A 】
她给他拿了一包榛子，然后她去洗衣服。
回来的时候，榛子已经被他吃得所剩无几。

【 B 】
她拿给他一包榛子，然后自己去收拾屋子。
回来的时候，她看见电脑前面放了一堆剥好的榛子仁。

女人很感性..
她炫耀你对她的体贴，就好像炫耀克拉钻一样。
这么廉价的买卖，用一点心思就能收获无比的财富..

【 A 】
他说：「你是最好的..」
她问：「我哪好？」
他：「学历高、能力强、长得漂亮、身材又好，对我又这么好..」
她笑了..

【 B 】
他：「你是我所遇到最好的女孩儿..」
她：「我哪好？」
他：「你对身边的每个人都很友善、很无私，对人对生活总是很感恩，一个人有一颗善良的心，会让周围的人感觉到温暖，你是我见过最善良的女孩儿，伤害你的人都应该下地狱..！」

她哭了..
一个人，是因为你对他好，所以觉得你好..
一个人，是因为懂得你的好，所以想要对你好..

幸福的爱人，
首先应该是一对彼此欣赏的知己..

paralysed with fear.

2011-11-26T13:46:00.004+08:00

If i walk, would you run
If i stop, would you come
If i say you're the one, would you believe me
If i ask you to stay, would you show me the way
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me.
The world is catching up to you
While you're running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe i'm not ready

But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

If i sing you a song, would you sing along
Or wait till i'm gone, oh how we push and pull
If i give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful.
Am i catching up to you
While your running away to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
And maybe i'm not ready
But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

I finally caught You're the apple of my eye with baby!
Awesome movie but shitty ending.
But there aren't many beautiful endings in life.
And went to shop for my prom stuff with him yesterday.
Tiring. /:

There's 2 MCQ papers left and here i am slacking like A levels are over
Time to hit the sack again!!
If only they put the 2 mcqs on the same day. Sighs.

time to destress!!

2011-11-18T20:41:00.001+08:00

This is worth 200% to watch! Omgg
I laugh so hard that i cried!

2011-11-18T12:25:00.001+08:00

Moody day /:

So sick and tired of studying.
I need a life

Sighs.

不像考卷, 所有复杂困难的问题都能得到一个解答,真实人生里,有些事永远也没有答案

i really want to watch thiss /:

Starlight Memories

2011-11-07T12:09:00.000+08:00

王力宏 Wang Leehom 依然愛你 Still In Love With You 官方完整版 Official MV

2011-10-30T13:15:00.000+08:00

Failure

2011-10-02T22:27:00.001+08:00

I failed as a student, friend, girlfriend, daughter and grandchild..
I feel like i'm the biggest failure ever.

2011-09-24T14:24:00.001+08:00

Do you know how it feels like to feel like you're absolutely nothing?

Do you?

little lessons of life

2011-09-18T00:10:00.004+08:00

Once in awhile, i stumbled across blogs of my old friends.
I still bloghop around to see what's going on in everyone's life, just so that i'm still kind of in touch despite of the hustle and bustle of life.

Today, i came across a blog of a used to be special friend of mine.
For some unknown or forgotten reasons, everything stopped.
She made me felt special, like i was a great friend, but i wasn't.
We had a theme song, and when it plays, it reminds me of her.
Through all or mostly of ups and downs, she was there.
She was like family member, a sister who i can bullshit around with, and lastly, a true friend who accepted me for who i am, stand by me and never ever judged me.
It was like one once in a life time kind of friendship.
And yet, i let it go.
Memories we once clasped so tightly to, now faded with time..
I'm so ashamed of myself.
Things change, people change, now i can only pray for the best for her. (:
I'm sorry.

Once in a while, we have to pause and look around in our life.
If not, we're just going to missed out important things/moments in the midst of our hectic lives.
Time flies, when we looked back, its going to be too late.

I guess i should stop complaining about how life is, and give thanks to what it has given to me.
Every day, is a step nearer to the end.
What have i accomplished in this life?
I shall stop wasting my life away sleeping! Zzz.
I have forever to sleep when i shut my eyes permanently.
I WANT TO LIVE EVERYDAY AS THOUGH ITS MY LAST!

Now what's important to me will be my studies(NOT FOR LONG HA), my family, my ladies, my friends and most importantly, my bf who has been my main pillar of support. Thank you~
I hope to meet up with my ladies soonn, have lots of catch up to do with them.
I will study hard and kick a level's butt!! And make my family proud of me!

Rant

2011-09-16T22:32:00.002+08:00

That's what i felt after my math paper.

Had maths paper today. I'm really really demoralised and disappointed. It was damn shit. Hardwork, does it really pay off? I tried so much. I gave in my all. Now, i dont know what to do anymore.. I've always placed maths as my first priority amongst my subjects. Because i thought i was good at it. But i thought wrong. I'm wrong. I practised. Over and over again. Hours of consultations. Drill myself and make sure that i cover all those i was weak at. But now, i dont know what to feel anymore.

Anw, went to library with the lovebirds today! Read baby blues. It was nice pretending i have no A levels. Shall rest early tonight and study tomorrow /:
My throat hurts badly noww...

2011-09-13T18:12:00.001+08:00

God, i'm so damn exhausted.
I feel so overwhelmed...
It feels so crazy to have econs and a full chem paper crashing tomorrow.
Right now i just want to curl into a ball of nothingness and cry.
I simply dont have the strength to carry on anymore.
And this scenario is going to happen again on 16th nov.
Someone please save me /:
I've never felt this helpless and scared before...
It feels so alone.
Weary

little moments

2011-09-04T08:26:00.004+08:00

I don't have a passion for running. Yet today, I went for a morning run at 6am. Sometimes i do things that amaze myself too. Perhaps, this is the healthiest, yet the most unlike me holiday i ever had. I've been tolling in mountain of books everyday since the holiday started. I even ran today! I'm so proud of myself (:
Finally doing something about my life instead of watching it spiral away.
It is nice to wake up early once in a while because you want to, not because of the need to do so. I was apprehensive about running when the skies were still dark, but the gentle breeze of the morning took the tension away..

2011-08-18T21:47:00.002+08:00

I've always tell myself its just a passing rain, that eventually i'm going to get better, i can do better in the next test and all that shit. But recently, i realised its not just a passing cloud, and there are no more next times as The day creeps nearer and nearer. As the days went passed, i feel every ounce of my energy and confident get drained away bit by bit. I feel disgusted by myself. I feel stupid. I don't feel like the happy girl i used to be. I'm mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. I don't want to do this alone anymore. Time and again, i questioned myself is it worth it. Somehow or rather, i will find its worth and get back on track. But now, after some time, you'll start to believe in what other people say.I don't have the strength to do all that constant self motivation each time i'm being put down by comments. Many times i'm at the verge of breaking apart, i suck back the tears and move on. But i just can't do it anymore.. I'm not strong enough.

2011-08-13T16:27:00.000+08:00

Meaning of love

2011-08-10T17:16:00.001+08:00

2011-08-08T00:12:00.000+08:00

2011-08-07T15:32:00.000+08:00

2011-08-06T22:02:00.000+08:00

2011-07-15T22:37:00.000+08:00

2011-07-10T16:09:00.007+08:00

But things change. People change. Change was one of the inevitable laws of nature, exacting its toll on people's lives. Mistakes were made, regrets form, and all that was left were repercussions that made something as simple as rising from the bed seem almost laborious.

Nicholas sparks, the choice

Somehow this part was deeply etched in my mind after reading the book.
Stirring silence of this particular afternoon, i began to start reflecting upon alot of stuff.
I wonder how much have changed since i was young and now..
People change with time, things and their environment.
What about the future?
Will i able to embrace the changes in my life in years from now?
Many times, i took things, people for granted.
Regrets in friendships that i let go without even trying, not even know what exactly happened back then.

Too many things on my hand, yet i have so much i want to do.
I want to fly kite, although i never get to do so.
I want to spend a day away from all these hustle and bustle of the city life, for i'm really fearful of people, and do something i really want to do, i'm really tired of doing the same old things. Waiting for time to pass, waiting for things to happen, i'm just drained.

I don't like people. Even in a room filled with crowds of people, i still feel alone.. People hurt, disappoint, expect, and change.. Some try to please another, wounding up with endless frustrations, anger and hurt. Others walk away without understanding. Expectations change. Remember bringing a smile across our parents' face was simply bringing uninterpretable art pieces home from kindergarten? at least that was for me. As we grow older, the place we live in seemed to get colder. Human relations get more and more complicated. Sometimes there is so much that you feel, yet so little that you can say. Maybe because there are no words for them..

It is nothing personal, just saying.

2011-06-26T01:08:00.001+08:00

It’s the scariest thing ever to realize how much someone means to you. When it hits you, I mean really hits you, all these thoughts and questions rush through your head at once. A sad emotion even starts to creep on you slowly inch by inch as you start to wonder. What if for some reason things don’t work out? How are you possibly going to live without them? Someone that was once a stranger now is the only person you know like the back of your hand. Someone you once had no emotions for, now has the power to break your heart. Someone you used to never hangout with, now owns most of your time. Someone that you thought you’d never love, owns your entire heart. Someone you once lived without, you now wish to hold on forever.

And you are that someone (:

2011-06-18T16:05:00.001+08:00

Hahah! Tiring revisionsss /:

Next 3 weeks of my life are going to be crazyyyy ):

2011-06-17T10:42:00.000+08:00

2011-06-16T21:08:00.001+08:00

I'M HUNGRYYYYY..... /:

2011-06-12T18:24:00.000+08:00

Omgomgomggg

2011-06-12T01:45:00.002+08:00

2011-06-07T00:13:00.000+08:00

Sure, I talk to other guys but I don’t talk to them like the way I talk to you. Sure, those other guys can make me smile, but not make me smile as much you do. Sure, they can make me laugh but not make me the laugh like the way you do.
Sure, those other guys can make me happy but not as happy as you make me. Yeah,
theres a lot of other guys out there, but listen, none of them can compare to
you. Those other guys can holla and whatever, but my eyes and heart are set on
you.

yea (:

2011-06-05T23:31:00.000+08:00

I feel like a fat hamster nowww /:
Need to exercise soon ):

2011-06-01T17:30:00.001+08:00

2011-05-30T22:02:00.002+08:00

Yes you! Asshole ((:

2011-05-29T17:27:00.013+08:00

Sometimes the biggest dream of all is simply having someone who can be there with you through all the good times and the bad - someone whom you can be happy just sharing a home-cooked meal.

-Wang lee hom

Hais.

One of those being screamed at days. /:

One of those i forgot why i should live days.

One of those days...

"One of these days, you'll grow to realise that no one can always be there for you. It sucks. But that's life, isn't it?"

2011-05-28T12:42:00.004+08:00

♥

Wonderful last day of school (:
Hehee. No books!!
Real run although i spent most of the time running around the school :D

Went out with terenceee the whole day ^^
Love him to bits (:
I dont know where did we went but it was awesomee! :D
If everyday was like that, how nice will it be~

Prelims in a month! :O

2011-05-26T22:13:00.003+08:00

Thank god for giving these people in my life when i thought i lost my smile.
After all the disappoinments, all i could do was to break down into a crying fit.

A simple dinner with a couple of close friends.
Lots of laughter and joy.
Last acadamic day of the semester ended with a dramatic day. hahas.

Went to library to catch up with work.
Hais. /:

June holidays are gona suck.

2011-05-24T23:24:00.001+08:00

"oh sorry, i thought paper would protect you"

HAHAHAA!

2011-05-22T16:16:00.002+08:00

I find this funny!

I find this funny too!

But how come no one laughs when i tell them this! ):
Funny what /:

Hehee. I share the extact same sentiments on week days~

Awesome weekend ♥

2011-05-19T17:26:00.000+08:00

2011-05-17T20:08:00.001+08:00

Hais /:

2011-05-17T15:43:00.002+08:00

Sometimes you'll feel so angry that you start sulking like this..
So frustrated that your brain feels like its about to explode anytime.
Next moment you burst into tears.
It feels like nothing will be right again.
And you felt like you've lost your smile permanently.

Just saying.

2011-05-12T19:12:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, being in a room filled with people, i feel more alone than ever.
I never like to depend on people.
Cause when they're gone, there is nothing left to hold on.

Running alone to anywhere and every where feels great.
Only the beat of your heart, footsteps and the nature is all that you hear.
No need to entertain anyone, no need to talk.
Just listen to the your own thoughts and look around at random stuff.

Sometimes i have the urge to just break down and cry.
Tired of building bridges.
Tired of trying.
Tired of talking.
Tired of trying to understand.
I'm just tired of everything.
Exhausted and i'm losing my sense of direction.

Losing it all, falling apart.
No longer have the strength to put everything back in place again.

Sighs. /:

2011-05-01T11:42:00.002+08:00

Hungry /:

LOL

2011-04-28T19:10:00.000+08:00

2011-04-25T22:55:00.000+08:00

2011-04-23T23:04:00.000+08:00

sleepless nights

2011-04-22T01:55:00.002+08:00

I can't sleep.
2am.

While the rest off the world drift off to their dreams, i laid here all alone.
The deafening silence of this particular night is all that i have.
Pain of my leg is all that i can feel.

When there used to be a day of the week to look forward to, now everyday seemed so meaningless. Same old routine, same old school stuff.

The last a div match is coming up.
Somehow, i can't bear to leave.
Its not the game, its the people..

Oh well.
Nothing seemed right these days.
Or perhaps its just me. /:

2011-04-13T23:21:00.003+08:00

hais /:

Taking a little break from my mountain of tutorials.
I'm mentally drained from everything.
Sick and tired of the mundanity of life.

School can be enjoyable.
But it can be a drag at times too.
And these are one of those times /:

sighs.
Back to tutorials -.-

sweet 18th!

2011-04-03T23:32:00.003+08:00

Officially legal!!!
To me, age is just another number.
But this particular day really has a different meaning to it.
Its not special because i'm born on this day, but rather the people around me had made this day special.

It all started in the middle of the night..
An awesome surprise by terence (:
And had lunch with my family.
Then dinner with my ladies~ Followed by pool and now i'm aching all over :D
Not forgetting those sms well wishes and eden! Who gave me a present on april fools!

I'm thankful to have them in my life :DD
Their efforts to make this typical day a wonderful one for me, i know the past 18 years of my life have not been wasted.. Its nice to gather together and catch up with all of them in just a day. I wanted to do something meaningful on my 18th birthday, i guess the true meaning of it is this.

Its been an awesome day.. THANKS EVERYONEE :DD

2011-03-27T12:17:00.002+08:00

Hello hello hello~ Hahaa.
Exams are finally over for now!!
Emotions were on roller coasters for this week.
lots of disappointment /:
But its all over, no point harping over these stuff!
Cause i can do it better! (Y)
I studied and i tried.

My latest pretend to act emo song HAHAHAA

That was then
Now it's the end
I'm not coming back
I can't pretend
Remember When
These feelings I can't shake no more
These feelings are running out the door
I can feel it falling down
And I'm not coming back around
These feelings I can't take no more
This emptiness in the bottom drawer
It's getting harder to pretend
And I'm not coming back around again...

My latest favourite get high song!!!

All my life I've been good
But now, Whoa, I'm thinking What The Hell?
All I want is to mess around
And I don't really care about
If you love me, If you hate me, You can't save me, baby baby
All my life I've been good but now
Whoa, What The Hell?

WHAT THE HELL!! HAHAA.
Suddenly i remember all those good old times with gek teng where we sang Avril Lavigne songs during physics lessons and read nora roberts books. That's like so long ago.. /:

Time to continue with my econs essays~
Cherry tomatoes! :D

2011-03-22T16:34:00.001+08:00

Broken. Crumbled.
Numb.
I can't do this anymore /:

2011-03-18T22:33:00.001+08:00

It seems that i'm losing something deep inside of me
hold on, on to me
Now i see
Everybody hurts some days
Its okay to be afraid
Everybody hurts
Everybody screams.
Everybody feels this way.

Really?
Or is it just me? hais.
Sometimes putting on a facade is easier.

20 hours!

2011-03-15T21:44:00.003+08:00

Down to 20 hours!! Omg omg omg.

Besides waiting, there's also revision /:
Left with one last chapter of physics ><
And tons of other stuff!! T.T

2011-03-15T08:30:00.001+08:00

Yea, i miss you /:

Up early to continue with my revision!! ><
Need to go back to school for consultation later on..
Hohohho
1 more day!!!!

misses

2011-03-14T21:25:00.003+08:00

This reminds me of us /:

Can't Wednesday come abit sooner?? Like now?! ><
hais.

2011-03-13T21:38:00.004+08:00

Breath taking night skies...

2011-03-13T09:15:00.002+08:00

Humans are so realistic.
The only reflection i get after i went for 2 ccas. haha

Holidays are finally here!!
Happy maax. hehe
But the week after holidays will soon be exam ><
Gona spend my holidays on consultations and cramming notes into my tiny brain /:
Started on physics yesterday!
Group studied with li ying, shafeeq and nurul and khalil joined in for awhile.
Not bad not bad. Wasn't a chit chat session.
Met Terence after that ((:

Time is flying by..
One term has passed.
3 terms left.
28weeks down to A levels. T.T

2011-03-03T22:02:00.002+08:00

One of those days i felt at extreme ends.
One moment i experienced extreme joy, another i was depressed.
2 papers i had, received good results, actually it just meant improvement. haha.

Had class bonding session today.
I totally love how it felt.
Everyone was having fun, it was no longer about the scores.
Funny moves, happy smiles, bright laughter.
If only class was this fun everyday..

Mistakes. Bad judgement.
Sometimes it is just unintentional to cause harm.
If there can be a solution for everything to make them in place again..
Sighs. /:

Chinese results tomorrow.
Feeling emotionless. haha.
After one episode at O levels, i'm fearful of hoping for anything ><

I just pray for tomorrow to be a peaceful day.

2011-02-27T11:16:00.001+08:00

你只要相信什么, 你就一直去做, 有一天就会成真

cheery tomatoes (:

thoughts

2011-02-22T22:35:00.005+08:00

Can you feel my world?
日日夜夜我闭着双眼祈祷
为什么只有我的音乐能够让我依靠
我知道我的世界已经变得越来越小
跑不掉跑不了怎么面带着微笑
怎么面对着你才好怎么眼泪都在掉
怎么嘴嘟着好严肃只要不是哭着就好
什么旋律在我脑袋一直转一直绕
意志力一直撑着我再一次祷告帮助我

sitting in my living room, feeling alittle not used to having my parents around.
well, they are off to somewhere to enjoy themselves again.

This night seemed particularly quiet without the blasting of speakers, nonsensical arguments between me and my dad and perhaps abit of pretending to be IP man. And this silence is deafening. For the first time, i sent off someone at the airport and it happens to be them. I guessed i finally understood how they felt when they send me off at the airport for my school trips, the feeling simply sucks. Seeing someone walked away. Someone who you talked to moments ago, their shadows gradually fading away from your sight. I don't ever want to do this again. I can't believe that i'm saying this, but i actually do miss them alittle.

Today, a lot have gone through this tiny little mind of mine.
Perhaps the little events of my day had drained me off. Or perhaps, its simply the fact that i just enjoyed my dinner with my family. I guess i'm not making any sense, but it doesn't matter anyway. There's a lot of things that i never understood. After all, i'm not perfect. I'm just another typical me.

Sometimes, between truth and facade, which one will you pick?
A facade hides and hurts.
The truth hurts like a lethal wound.
I cannot decipher why will some try to put on a facade of smiles, when it is obvious that it is hurting them so much. Perhaps they failed to realised that people around them actually care. But does sharing really lighten the load? I don't know.

32 weeks left.
32 tormenting weeks.
I'm gona need hell lots of support and motivation, and i felt that i'm silently crumbling into pieces every single day. Each day, i'm losing track of who i am. Losing a piece of myself to whatever is taking me away. Trying to become whatever others perceived me to be. Trying to become whatever people expect of me. Putting on a facade be it at home or at school. I'm not strong anymore, it feels as though i can break any moment..Constantly competing with time. Everyday starts off with dragging myself off my bed, ends with nothing but fatigue. What have i become.

Sighs..
I don't even know the real me anymore. /:
And perhaps, i don't even care.

Time for math and i shall call it a day.
Goodnight.

whine whine whine!

2011-02-18T22:53:00.000+08:00

Finally!~~
Friday is here again!!
I simply love friday nights.
The feeling of slight relaxation whereby you can just laze around, knowing that there's 2 more days to catch up with work, is simply AWESOME!

Feeling so drained from a day of sports.
Have been feeling so sick and tired of everything recently..
Its like my soul have been totally sucked out from my body. Sometimes i wondered if i'm still alive. Perhaps i'm just like a turtle's shell. So empty inside. I hate how mundane life is right now - school's occupying my time from Monday to Friday. Saturday and sunday is still school work >< Gosh, when can all these ever stop? I have totally lost the motivation to go on, knowing i'm in for the same shit every single week T.T
I'm simply too exhausted to spur myself on, with all the constant self comforting, lecturing and motivation that i've been doing for all these times. Gradually shutting down to everything, from lectures, tutorials and even PE, i feel so lazy to run. Sighs. I need more than a motivation now. During all these busy moments, i kind of lost track of myself. I don't even know who the hell i am now. Perhaps a scolding, which may do me good or turn me off even further.
Time for a wake up call.

I love to sit in my living room at night.
The silence of the night sounds like a comforting melody..

I want to watch a sunrise.
I want to sleep under clear night skies that are filled with countless stars.
I want to go for a camp and scream my lungs out while doing cheers.
I just want to do something crazy.
I need a life! ><

Damn, JC life sucks.

too little too late..

2011-02-11T17:53:00.000+08:00

2011-02-09T18:40:00.002+08:00

小时候你想要什么
我要一台大大蓝色的飞机
带我环游世界去地球每一个角落
在蓝天白云中穿梭

而长大以后我想要什么
我要一台小小红色答录机
和你一起录下喂我们现在不在家
蓝色变成红色因为你

simple happiness.
Why is it so difficult to achieve?

I've decided not to apply for the korean trip.
Too many things at stake.
Cant afford to lose any of them, its just not worth it.

Time to go.

2011-02-07T09:19:00.002+08:00

Skipped school on first day of school! haha
Just to go library to complete my mountain of hw!! T.T
Hopefully i'll be able to complete majority of it!! ><

hais. sometimes i feel so numb.
It feels like nothing is same, since change is the only constant.
Perhaps time is flying pass too fast..
It feels like yesterday, but yesterdays are so far away.
So unreachable..
hais.

life's little disapointment.

2011-01-20T18:35:00.003+08:00

When you felt that you have tried your hardest, yet results don't show.
Faith starts to waver.
Doubts starts to arise.
Defeated too many times, till i'm feeling so numb now.

Not going to cry.
Guess i'll just keep trying.
Since failure has been a habit. /:

zoom zoom

2011-01-16T10:33:00.003+08:00

Am i?
Are you?
I don't really have much to hope for now!

First week of school.
First week of being a J2.
Feels like school had started for a month ><
Been through lots of self doubting, crazily stressed at times.
While i tried to keep everything in balance.
Feeling the heat! haha.

Awesome moments of this week:
1) Lunch and movie with Terence on Monday. ((:
2) Met up with the ladies on thursday, celebrated Gek teng's 18th birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (:
3) Walked around dobby ghuat with shafeeq and shopping trip with Terence on Saturday. (:

This pretty much summarises all the fun i had. /:
Pathetic life.
11 months!!! ZOOM ZOOM will fly by!

GAMBATEI!!! ^^

hehe

2011-01-09T02:12:00.002+08:00

timeee to sleep!!
tmr's another day of work! ><

Super wordy!

2011-01-07T23:11:00.002+08:00

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

2010.

I've found that special person.
People who are important, stayed.
Lots of memories, a huge turn around in my life.
These memories, i'll hold it in my heart for as long as possible.

2011.

What can happen?
Its the A levels year.
Whether good or bad, i know time will still pass by.
I pray hard that people stay, nothing changes.

Gahhh..New Year Resolutions:

1) Get at least 7 hours of sleep each weekday night!!

2) Revise at least one chapter for each subject EVERY WEEK until A levels. -.- (learning from promos' experience, this shall be out of my list for 2012! HEHEHE)

3) Watch movie once every month! (To unwind)

4) Improve volleyball skills? LOL.

5) Take less than 2 MCs for this year! This came true in 2010 ^^

6) Be stronger, and less whiny. I know i'm blessed and much more fortunate.

Okay, that's all!! I shall try to stick to my resolution and study hard!!
Give me 11 months, by then... HEHEHE :D

tired..

2011-01-06T12:05:00.003+08:00

Cause there's no guarantee that this life is easy

And when my world is falling apart
There is no light to break up the dawn
That's When i look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore
And i can't find my way home anymore
That's When i look at you

You appear just like a dream to me...

-When i look at you.

Woke up early today! 6am!
No idea what woke me up, perhaps my brother's alarm clock?
I laid silently on bed, watched the transitions of the sky.
From dust to dawn, the first ray of light shone into my room.
And i've been up since then..

Feeling very tired, very drained.
Somehow i feel lost too.

Life seemed to be throwing so much stuff at me.
I can't believe that i'm taking A levels this year.
I don't even know what can happen this year.
All sorts of things, be it good or bad.
I detest uncertainty, it makes me feels so confused.
Gosh, it feels as though my world is slowly falling apart.

Whatever happens, happens for a reason.
Whatever that has not happen, does not mean that it will not happen.
Life is such a bullshit.

Whatever the case is, time to do some work!

Ciao~~~
Time to date vectors and perhaps econs! :D

I want to watch a sunrise.

2010-12-27T12:03:00.002+08:00

I feel so damn suffocated...
I can't breathe.

It feels like a cobra wrapping around my neck, slowly tightening its grip.

I'm just not good enough.
I can't.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY!!! (:

2010-12-23T00:00:00.010+08:00

TERENCE LEE MING REN!!!!
HOHOOHOOO!

HAPPY BIRTHDAYY!!!
Sorry i can't be by your side to celebrate this special day of yours ):
But i'll be back in 23 hours time!! Hehee
So miss me in the meantime. :P
I guess i'll miss you too? HAHAHAH

XOXO,
Your girl-friend. (:

P.S. Mingren! This is just the start of your nightmare *winkwinks*
OR NOT! :P

good bye singapore!

2010-12-17T12:00:00.008+08:00

First scheduled post! hehee.

At this moment, my flight have probably took off.
I shall be back in a week.
Till then, I'll miss all of you!!

Especially my dearest baby boy..
Take care of yourself alright? Remember to take your meals on time, I'll be mad if i know you didn't! Sleep early! Don't game until too late. Don't emo emo!! Esp on 23rd. Grr. Happy birthday in advance! hehe. I should be the first to wish you already? :P Don't do any crazy stuff too!! Nothing insane either!!! And lastly, please remember that I'll always love you. So, don't let your thoughts run wild in the middle of the night!! Remember our promise!! And don't worry about me, I'll take good care of myself, promise. (:
Till 25th, i'll miss you lotss. /:

Oh i brought your jacket over (:
As well as homework -.-

Byebyeee singapore and possibly internet connection!
I shall resurface on 23rd again with lots of interesting stories!! hehee

16/12/10 (:
This shows how bored i am. LOL.
Take care peoplee!!! :D

emotional

2010-12-17T01:10:00.002+08:00

That's the only word that describes how i feel now /:
gosh, so many emotions within me.
Its only 7 days, how come it feels like forever.
In 11 hours time, i'll be gone...

Had dinner earlier on at grandparents' place.
A simple fare, but many were there and the food was awesome. LOL.
Chat about all kinds of stuff.
Watched tv together.
Everything was so peaceful, so happy at those moments.
No more ear piercing screams, no more demands, no more commands.
Family - finally found a definition after so long.
Sadly, its not in this place.

Pfft. What's wrong with me. /:
I don't even look forward to this trip although it has so many interesting stuff /:
Oh welll.

2010-12-15T14:50:00.002+08:00

YAY! Another clinque item!!
Hopefully this necklace doesnt fade like the ring /:
Finally met up after so many months!
So happyy!! (:

48Hours from now, i'll be at somewhere far away..
Hais.
Sometimes i really hate this place.

a taste of heaven..

2010-12-13T13:00:00.005+08:00

OR NOT! Hahas.

Have been eating and eating and eating for the past few days!
Had astons with terence on Friday (:
Had gelare with family on Saturday (:
Had lunch and dinner at my favourite restaurant on Sunday!! (:

Felt like i was living in heaven. LOL.
Cause the past few days have been very peaceful and stress free! ( Meaning no tutorials, no studies omg)
Hehe i love that restaurant cause its a place where the whole family will always gather together and have a good meal together.(Plus the food is seriously awesome and i get to eat my egg tarts omggg) Long lost feeling~ Everyone was so happy. Awesomeee (:

This week's gona be a stressful weeek!!!
Cause there is so much to do within a miserable 4 days before i fly off to my adventure camp in thailand LOL. Looking forward to spa omg.
Looking forward to tuesday's dinner with my ladiess! Woottss! Wonderful late night chats. Omg i missed them so muchh.
Thursday!! Although i dont know what i'll be doing LOL.

I guess i'll be bringing some hw to thailand after all -.-
Still stuck at 10 sets of maths.
And physics. !^(@&!(#@^# LOL.
Econs. Omg.

Hais. Pathetic holiday.
Shall do some work now :D

I WANTTTT!!

2010-12-08T17:12:00.000+08:00

I want to go backpacking!!
I want to go bungee jumping!
I want to meet up with my ladies sooonn!!
I want to bake a cake!
I want to make ice creams!
I want to go to lee hom's concert for once!
I want to eat egg tarts omgg!
I want to go back to to those days where i'm still a toddler. Safe in my parent's arms, oblivious to whatever was happening. /:
I want tommorrow to come in 5 minutes!! OMMGG ><
I want.............................

But for now, I just want to tear up all my assignments and go outside and play in the rain!! /:

Okay i'm crazy.
1 set of maths down. 11 set more to go. Omg :O
I cant imagine how awesome next year will be.

2010-12-06T23:04:00.002+08:00

I still remember the look on your face
Lit through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whispered
For just us to know
You told me you loved me
So why did you go away
Away?

I do recall now
The smell of the rain
Fresh on the pavement
I ran off the plane
That July 9th
The beat of your heart
It jumps through your shirt
I can still feel your arms

But now I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is that
I don't know how to be something you miss
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

I do remember
The swing in your step
The life of the party, you're showing off again
And I roll my eyes and then
You pull me in
I'm not much for dancing
But for you I did

Because I love your handshake
Meeting my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets
How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something
There's not a day when I don't miss those rude interruptions
But now I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes

All that I know is that
I don't know how to be something you miss
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

So I'll watch you live in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines
And it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you
You wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in weather and town
But I never planned on you changing your mind

So I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is that
I don't know how to be something you miss
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

Just like our last kiss
Forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips
Just like our last

Hehe.
I can kiss goodbye to chemistry for the rest of my holidays!!
Finally completed the chemistry assignments! Happy omgg.
But the drowsiness still stays. /:

Time to sleep!
Ciaoo.

Tomorrow's menu: Econs! Maths!

drowsy

2010-12-06T20:20:00.004+08:00

Feeling very drowsy for the whole day omg!
Should be because of my flu /:
Guess i should wake up early tomorrow to jog!
Shall finish my chemistry assignments by tonight!
And sleep!! ZzzzZZzZZz

Hahaaha. Siao. LOL.
stress stress stress omg. ><
Should i or should i not??

Updates updates

2010-12-05T19:10:00.003+08:00

Sick again /:
But other than this, everything is awesome!! hahas.
Grandpa is in the pink of health again, and is back to work!
Grandma's fine, happy, i guessed? Went out shopping with her yesterday (:
Parents are okay okay.
No more fights and misunderstandings!! hehee.

If only everyday of my life can be this perfect, i dont mind falling sick and facing the mountain of assignments to complete!!

Pfft. I shall do some chemistry now! /:

P.S taylor swift is awesomee!!! ^^

when you look me in the eyes (:

2010-12-04T00:42:00.002+08:00

everything's alright, when you're right here by my side

Went out to make specs today! like finally!!
Met terence after that. hehee.

^^

haunted

2010-12-03T00:36:00.001+08:00

You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
But, I never thought I'd live to see it break
It's getting dark and its all too quiet
And I can't trust anything now
And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake

Oh, holding my breath
Oh, I'm lose you again
Somethings made your eyes go cold

Come on, come on
Don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted

Come on, come on
Don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe when I know you're gone
Can't turn back now
I'm haunted

Sit there and watch you walk away
From everything we had
But, I still mean every word I said to you
He will try to take away my pain
And he just might make me smile
But, the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead

Oh, holding my breath
Whoa, I'll see you again
Something keeps me holding on and I think

Come on, come on
Don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted

Come on, come on
Don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe when I know you're gone
Can't turn back now
I'm haunted

I know, I know
I just know
You're not gone
Come on, you can't be gone
No

Come on, come on
Don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
Won't finish what you started

Come on, come on
Don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe when I know you're gone
Can't go back
I'm haunted

You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
But, I never thought I'd see it break
Never thought I'd see it

Nice.
Time to sleep.
Haunted.
No more nightmares tonight, please.

Goodnight!

Back to December

2010-12-01T20:24:00.005+08:00

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life tell me how's your family,
I haven't seen them in a while,
You've been good, busier than ever,
Small talk work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why,
Because the last time you saw me,
Still burned in the back of your mind,
You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine,
I go back to December turn around and make it all right,
I go back to December all the time

These days i haven't been sleeping,
Staying up playing back myself leaving,
When your birthday passed and I didn't call,
And I think about summer all the beautiful times I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized i loved you in the fall,
And then the cold came the dark days when fear crept into my mind,
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And i go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what i had when you were mine,
I go back to December turn around and change my own mind,
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin,
Your sweet smile,
So good to me, so right,
And now you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry,
Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
If we loved again i swear I'd love you right
I'd go back in time and change it but i can't,
So if the chain is on your door i understand

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying im sorry for that night
And i go back to December.
It turns out freedom aint nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what i had when you were mine,
I go back to December turn around and make it all right,
I go back to December turn around and change my own mind,
I go back to December all the time
All the time

Woots. I'm offically in love with taylor swift again!
Especially her latest album!! Speak now.
Awesome.
There's one song which can be used to scold people one. Damn cool!!
hahahhaaa.
Ohohoh, i love this live cover. Damn nice! Superb~

XOXO

Green tea cream (:

2010-12-01T09:50:00.003+08:00

Omgg crazily craving for green tea cream.

Sighs, i just worked out my 6 weeks long holiday schedule. ):
I JUST REALISED OUT OF 6 WEEKS, i only have barely 3 weeks to mug.
Which is the first 3 weeks.
Which i have already burnt out 2 days because monday was rest day, ytd was cca.
Tomorrow's gona be burnt out for cca too.
Friday's gone.
There's cca on sat, so its gone as well!
Omgg. Stress stress.
Starting from Thailand trip, it will be all play and no work. Gosh.
This spells doom.
Unless i study at Thailand and chalets -.- which is totally absurd.

I have so much stuff to cram in for the first 3weeks.
How come holidays suddenly seemed so stressful?!
Sighs. First time i'm using december holidays to study. Awesome.
Next year's gona be worst. /:
I don't even want to think about how i can manage my time. sighs.
Exactly in a year's time, my jc journey will come to an end in a few day's time.
The timer has already started /:
I just hope whatever i'm doing, will be worthwhile for my future. ><

I shall start with chemistry today.
Stupid mugger. LOL.

Oh wait. I should start with packing my desk first! Grr.